Motivation

Proud to announce we have finished our 4th week!  Yay!  We have earned our "Za"...we will be going to St. Louis next Friday!  :) 

This last week was tougher.  I think the start of school and trying to find time after working all day, has been tough for me.  I barely made the week, but found it interesting that last night, when I was trying to get that last workout out in, I chose to go the tough route on the bike.  It hit me as I was riding home.  I was so unmotivated, but think I chose a route that I had not ridden, but knew was tougher as a personal motivator...even though it was totally subconscious.  I hope that stays.  I like that my mind is acting in my behalf, even when my body isn't have any of it. 

Now, we have to decide our next challenge.  We are still working on this one this week, before the "za" and new goal. 

Flight

I forgot to post, but week 2 and 3 were successfully completed! Hubs and I did a lot of the days separately, which was sad, but we did finish! Hubs even got his three days in while at a conference! I felt committed when I went to visit our oldest daughter and got my third day in even after driving 4 hours. My motivation this week is low, however, so hopefully, I can gather the strength and will power! I did buy some cool new shorts for biking…maybe that will help. Hubs and I have not been able to ride together in so long, in fact, most of my time as been walking, so getting back on that bike is going to be tough!

On another topic, I’ve been really thinking about weight loss/eating healthy. I know our goals right now are just to add exercise to the mix, but I’m on a constant quest of my own, to stay healthy AND lose unwanted pounds. In 2012, I DID lose 40 pounds, and kept most of it off until last fall. Then, our family went through a crisis, and my emotional eating took over. I have been on a "binge" ever since, with most of my weight piling back on. When talking to people without weight problems, I often get "just eat less, or exercise will help. Just use your willpower." Heck, even my doctor, who is naturally thin, talks to me about eating a low carb diet, and how easy it can be. On my last post visit page she gave me, it told me to switch to that low carb/low fat diet, as if it was as easy to change a lifestyle as it was to write it down. 

And at times, it’s true. I can have "willpower;" I can eat less, I can be "good." Heck, I lost those 40 pounds by eating that low carb diet and denying myself many of the joys I find in food. However, there were times, when I wondered if it was worth it. Like, when my daughter was selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts for cheerleading and I was good and didn’t have any, but was literally crying. I know I sound like a whiner when I talk about how others at work eat anything they want, and I don’t. I am not. Well, sometimes I am, but in all reality, food, especially sweet food, is like a drug. I know many of those who do not have weight problems, don’t understand. Heck, my Hubs, for the most part, views food as it should be, fuel for his body. When he wants to go on a healthy eating kick, it is relatively easy (except that he is extremely picky). As long as there are no treats in the house, he doesn’t search them out. I, on the other hand, do. I may try for a while not to, but after sometime (sometimes only a day), I’m back at it. 

If you have seen the movie, Flight, with Denzel Washington, you may come to understand what an addiction looks like, and what I go through. While his addiction is alcohol, it very accurately portrays the urge or lack of control that sometimes comes with my eating (and I am not trying to minimize the effects of alcohol addiction/abuse). I told Hubs, the movie was so difficult for me to watch, because I related so well, and I felt such empathy for his struggles. I would yell at the t.v. for him to resist, and he tried so hard, but one wrong step and it came crashing down. It only takes one taste, there is never a vacation from eating healthy for me. Once, I break, I am truly broken. All the good diets tell you to have a cheat day. I literally can’t. I try to tell myself that a cheat dessert or a small taste of someone else’s carb meal, won’t hurt but it does. I remember the first time I really had carbs after the summer of my weight loss. We were on vacation, and I allowed myself to "cheat" that week. I bite into this Mexican lasagna (if you are ever in Kona, HI…try it at the Kona Brewing Co.) and it was like heaven. I told my Hubs, "I don’t know if it is truly this good, or just giving me a carb fix." That week, I was good and bad, but mostly good. The problem was once we returned I couldn’t go back to eating the way I had. However, I was relatively stable, like I said, until last fall. Well, I say that, but it was a slow decline. When I look back, I REALLY did not recover from that vacation, and a trip to Hawaii was awesome motivation to cry rather than give in to my addiction. There were no more motivations after that; even my own longevity. There was stress, a daughter leaving for college, and the underlying desire to get a fix. Motivation for my own health was not enough. That statement alone really makes me sad and helps me to understand my addiction to food. It may not be alcohol, but honestly, it can be as deadly. For any of you who don’t believe it, I can’t change your mind. But, I know I can try and change mine. I have been looking into more of a therapy based approach this time to see what my underlying psychological issues might be. I hope it will help. I hope I can find someone to talk to. I know, this sounds as if it goes against the search for "za". But, I am hoping that with help, I can have the za and not fall into the addiction trap. I may be fooling myself, but I hope not. If so, I guess hubs will be eating the pizza and I will have a nice healthy salad or other healthy meal.

A minor setback

Well, as we enter our second week of our quest....I land in the hospital.  Nothing major, thankfully, but I was told to take it easy for the next couple days.  However, I am not giving up my goal for this week...even if it has to be modified or simplified.  I hope this attitude remains.  I think being in the hospital, thinking of all the possiblities, reminded me of how fragile and precious life is.  You only get this one and although food and laziness has been my life in the past, going forward I HAVE to change.  I know my time is finite, but if I can take care of myself, maybe that finite time can be extended just a bit.  Every day with my family is important and I hope that I can remember this as we go forward.

harder, better, faster, stronger

OK...I know, I stole the title from Daft Punk and maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but that is the song that has played in my head since we got back from our ride today. We have increased our distance, time, and km/hr (yes, we use the metric system in our house because Hubs feels like we need to catch up with the rest of the world :) ). I won't embarrass myself with telling you how short of distance we actually go, but trust me it is farther and definitely takes all 30 minutes. Hubs could go farther, but he is saddled with his out-of-shape, wimpy wife! So happy, though, that we decided to do this. I do feel harder, better, faster, stronger every time we get back.

Accomplished

Well, week one goal accomplished!

We each did three workouts...some of us did 4 :) Don't fret, just because our goal is met, we are not relaxing the rest of the week. The only reason we came up with 3 days a week is because it is achievable with our hectic schedules. We wanted the first goal to be relatively easy, so that we could enjoy the reward. That will give us motivation to continue...hopefully!

Hubs and I were talking on our ride today, that if we keep with it, we will definitely need new equipment. Although, I told him suffering through the beginnings help you to realize this is what you want to do...no pain, no gain after all. Our bikes are pretty sad, and mine is about 20 years old. I don't know if bikes have a shelf life, but I think that mine has exceeded the limits. We noted that we may also need cushioned pants so that our bums do not hurt so bad! Maybe we will grow use to it, but I don't know. I'm sure there is a lot of equipment that I am just unaware of at this time, but it will give me something to research and I actually like doing that!

Next week will be a little tougher with the kids starting school and having marching band practice twice a week. I have been "lucky" to coach and spend time with them for the last several years. Although I coach the color guard, I decided that couldn't count as my exercise. Hopefully, the nights will be mild and clear!

#1

Our first post. So, what exactly is this blog about? Well, it started with an article my husband sent me the other day about pizza. See, Hubs and I are from Chicago and it is hard to find good pizza outside of that area (in our opinion). Of course, Chicago was not even on this list, which is criminal or at least certifiable! So, I said, "We should make our exercise/health goals and reward ourselves with going to each of these cities and trying their 'best pizza'." He was all for it! We changed it a little and decided we would pick cities we wanted to visit, and then find the best pizza places in that city (according to Yelp, Trip Advisor, or personal recommendations). This way we can combine our love of travel and pizza. In addition, we HAVE to meet our goal. Since most lists have a "top 10" pizza places, we decided to have 10 goals/cities we would visit. We also decided realistically we would have to break our goals into a long term 2 year time frame. Being a school social worker, I know goals have to be SMART, (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Based). I also told my Hubs, that often you want to look at the end goal--the one 2 years from now, and determine how to get there. So, our end goal is that 2 years from today, we will be able to ride our bikes in a long bike ride/race. I know that goal is not measurable, but at least we are looking forward. Our first short term goal is Each of us will exercise at least 3 times per week, for a minimum of 30 minutes a day, for the next month. The exercise is not specific, because we decided we would try out some new things as well. Our first city is relatively close to us, St. Louis. If anybody has any pizza suggestions---let me know! :)